Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
