Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
