well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
