it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
