Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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