the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Randomize
