Have you finally orgasmed yet?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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