shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
