i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
