At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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