Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
