you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
