she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
