After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
