I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I party with great urgency now.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
