Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
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You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
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the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
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