i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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