"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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