Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Randomize
