I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
