found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
