I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.