don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?