I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...