Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
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Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
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He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?