Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
