The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize