The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
At least life still wants to fuck me.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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