Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry bruh hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..

Fav 18 6047 899
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(417): View more from Missouri

You totally left a blue butt print on our banister

(573): View more from Missouri

Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.

Fav 12 3580 1212
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(219): View more from Indiana

I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed

Fav 2 2174 1089
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(609): View more from New Jersey

Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.

Fav 5 961 2297
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(732): View more from New Jersey

You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.

Fav 7 3840 2034
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(713): View more from Texas

His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.

Fav 3 2229 1675
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?

Fav 4 3369 1090
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.

Fav 1 28 58
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(703): View more from Virginia

He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started

Fav 0 18 30
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