The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Randomize
