it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
