I am spending my child support on dildos
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
