Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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