yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
