Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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