I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
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