Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
