Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
