can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
