are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
