I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
