Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
