i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
