I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
COCAINE IS GR8
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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