so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
