Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book