It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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