I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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