What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
