Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
