I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize