please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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