A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Is it because I queefed?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize