He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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