Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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