how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
