I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
