Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
you will always have a special place in my vag
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
how drunk are you?
Several
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
