He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
