In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
