My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
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You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
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i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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