During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
