i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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