well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
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