my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
he fucked my hip out of place.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Randomize
