What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
