Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
