I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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