I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
