So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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