I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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