Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
